The Cycle of Language and Life
Several years ago I went to visit a close relative’s house. When my wife and I arrived, everyone said, “Hey, how are you?” My immediate response was, “Outstanding!” This was my normal answer so it floored me when I heard one of my relatives laugh and say, “Oh he’s just saying that because he’s a motivational speaker.” Then I heard one of the elders say, “Yeah, somebody turn him off.” This was truly a shock to my system and my first thought was to leave the house immediately. Who would have thought that having a positive attitude could make people feel so bad? My “outstanding” response was built-in but apparently my relatives thought I was “acting” positive. Needless to say I felt a burning in my gut.
In the Closet?
The next day I got an e-mail from one of my other relatives who was at the house when this occurred. It said, “I’m glad you responded with ‘outstanding.’ More people should be that positive.” It’s no coincidence that he’s a very positive person too. But isn’t it a shame that people feel they have to be “closet positive people?”
The Cycle of Success
Here’s what my family didn’t seem to understand at that time. There is a cycle of language and life. What you say, you will display. I call it the CSI Mind, because, as soon as you declare it, your mind searches for evidence that it’s there. In my case, when I stated that I’m “Outstanding,” my mind searched for the outstanding things in my day and found them. Then I really did feel outstanding and so when people asked me how I was doing I’d naturally and truly say, “Outstanding.” That would start the entire cycle over again. This language writes the script for my life and for yours.
The Consequence of not using the Cycle
Here’s the sad part. About 6 months after the visit to my relative’s house, I ran into one of my friends who said, “Craig, you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. What’s going on?” I hadn’t realized it but, when he brought it up, I did feel like I was in a bit of a fog. Then he said something that lifted that fog for me. He said, “You don’t even talk the same way anymore. I used to ask you how you were and you’d always say ‘outstanding’ or ‘fantastic’ but you don’t say that anymore. What’s up?”
Is the Cycle working for you or Against You?
That’s when it hit me. Due to the reaction I received at my own family’s house, I stopped saying ‘outstanding’ when I was asked. I didn’t realize how much this one change had affected the quality of my life. When I stopped saying ‘outstanding’ I stopped feeling outstanding. I let the cycle of language and life work against me instead of for me. This is what many people do but surely we deserve to treat ourselves better.
Want One Great Day After Another?
Put the cycle of language and life to work for you. Tell people you feel “outstanding” and watch as your CSI Mind proves you right. Say it and then display it and then say it again and display it again. You can talk yourself into having one great day after another. And if someone inside or outside of your family says, “Someone turn him off,” don’t listen. These are the same people who think the phrase “good morning” is an oxymoron. They obviously don’t know the power of the cycle of language and life. If you want to be more confident, more peaceful, and happier, then reflect that in your language. Today when people ask me how I am, I say, “Oustanding.” Your turn. How are you?
15 Responses to “The Cycle of Language and Life”
Craig,
I also answer this age old question “how are you” with fantastic or terrific. I will never stop this, not only do I feel great saying it I know it helps others think about there own answer. Whether the individual is a positive person and feels empowered by your response or if they are a negative person and smile or laugh at your response people like us can at least feel proud that we made people think. Words like “outstanding”, “terrific”, or fantastic are great words to share.
Craig, I am absolutely terrific, and tested today as I work on some “homework”. Some really smart person once told me, believe and share. Thanks!
Thank you for the great work that you do!
gnp
I enjoyed the article very much. I do have one question What do the initials CSI stand for? I was not able to see or figure it out in the article.
Paul
I enjoyed the article very much. I do have one question What do the initials CSI stand for? I was not able to see or figure it out in the article.
Paul
Thank you Sarah! From the moment I met you, I knew you were one of the positive ones. I agree with you 100%.
Thank you Dr. Nixon. I appreciate it.
Paul,
Sorry about that. CSI stands for Crime Scene Investigators. It’s a show (several shows actually) whereby the characters are constantly searching for evidence and so I related that to searching for evidence of an outstanding day. Thanks a bunch!
Craig
We become what we think is very similar to Buddhist teaching of watering the seeds of our conciousness. We have positive seeds, we have negative seeds. What we water, what we practice, grows stronger. We become what we think and say.
Hi Craig,
Thanks for your insightful observations in this article. The other day, I made a similar positive response when someone asked me how I was. However, I was dealing inside with a personal disappointment, and wondered if I was being dishonest by my reply.
This was my conclusion: “No” for two reasons:
1. Given more time for reply to a close friend, I would gladly share a personal need.
2. No matter what struggles I am having, my list of blessings is always long enough to say: Outstanding!
Thanks for all the help you have given me in your talks and DVD’s! Keep up the good work. And keep coming to Canada:) God bless, Linda Neff
Thanks Tony. That’s a great way to put it. That’s why I read “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen almost every morning so I get that reminder. Thanks for the insight.
Hi Linda,
You are very welcome and I hope to get back to Canada soon. I appreciate your comments!
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
Hi, sure you can quote me and link to my blog. Thanks!
Thanks Craig. I just came across a quote that made me want to read your article a second time —
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thanks Bill. I agree wholeheartedly with Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotation!