The Comparison Conflict

Have you ever compared yourself to another person? When I first started my speaking career I remember comparing myself to other speakers. That is until I learned a lesson in an unlikely place.

A Lesson from the Road

I run with a group called the Striders and we have weekly races. Several years ago we had a 6-mile race on a hot and muggy Sunday afternoon.  There was also a 2-mile race for those who didn’t want to run as long. The 6-mile race involved running the 2-mile circular route three times.  

About two minutes after the race began, I got confused. People who I normally kept pace with were flying way ahead of me. I thought, “Well, maybe they know something about this course that I don’t. I guess I’ll run faster than normal.” I picked up my pace and kept stride with the others. I felt more tired than I usually did but I kept running fast so I could stick with them.

The Startling Revelation

We hit the first 2-mile lap and shortly afterwards I realized something. I was running alone. I quickly looked behind me and that’s when my heart sank. Suddenly I understood why so many of my regular pace-buddies had run so fast. It was because they had run the 2-mile race! They were done!

I can’t tell you what went through my mind without changing this to an R-rated blog. As tired as I already was, I remember thinking, “I still have 4 more miles to go!” Mile after mile more of the smarter 6-mile runners started passing me and I felt like their eyes were saying, “Poor guy. He doesn’t know how to pace himself.” The truth is I do know how to pace myself. The problem was I was trying to keep up with people who were not even running my race.

Are you trying to Keep up with the Jones’s?

Have you ever done that? Chances are, whenever you compare yourself to someone else, you take yourself out of your own race. I barely finished the race that day. Even a 10-year old kid strutted past me. But I’m glad it happened because I learned a valuable life lesson. Here it is: run your race.

Here are some of the things we tend to compare to others:

• Income levels
• Type of job
•  Size of our home
• Where we are in life in terms of relationships and family
• Level of education
• Proficiency in our field
• And much more

My suggestion is to stop comparing and remember to run your race. Otherwise you could end up tired and nearly broken trying to keep up with the Jones’s even though they are running a different race.

Run your race.