Grow Through the Glitch
There’s an awareness all people must gain in order to have breakthroughs in relationships and success. Years ago, I had my first breakthrough. One day, when I was a successful Sales Representative at a Textbook Company, I received a major complaint from one of my customers named Rachel. She ended the complaint with “Please provide me the name and contact information for your supervisor.” Well, I was off-struck because this was a person I had actually gone overboard to help for several months even though she wasn’t even a large customer. In truth, she had been a thorn in my side for quite some time due to her high-maintenance requirements. Also, when it came to this particular situation, she was just dead wrong. She had all her facts mixed up about what happened and she had no idea about all that I went through to try and help her.
Needless to say I thought about this for days. I didn’t even wait for her to contact my boss. Instead, I forwarded her scathing e-mail to him and copied her so she could see that I beat her to the punch. I was furious. For days I couldn’t shake what happened because I was not used to getting complaints. After all, I was the Salesperson of the Year three times. How dare she? Day after day I brooded over this situation until I had a revelation that changed my life and can change yours too. Here it is:
The situation had nothing to do with Rachel and everything to do with me
That’s right. I had a glitch that could be summed up in the following phrase: I HAD A NEED TO BE RIGHT.
The need to be right was my glitch but chances are you either have or have had another glitch. When we have glitches, we are going to keep running into similar situations over and over again until we learn to grow through the glitch. In my case I had to replace the need to be right with a more constructive habit. After all, nobody likes to be proven wrong. I should know this. If I couldn’t change the habit, then I’d end up banging my head against this same wall in my relationships, my places of employment, and everywhere else in my life. If you don’t grow through your glitch, it will manifest in many negative ways as well. So how do we grow through our glitches?
The First Step to Growing through your Glitch
The first step of course is awareness. Here is what I suggest. How can you tell when you have a glitch? Whenever you have a situation that you’re brooding over for way too long, chances are you have a glitch. Believe it or not, your circumstance has nothing to do with your specific situation and everything to do with the universe trying to tell you that you need to grow through your glitch. If you don’t, you will keep running your head into the same wall until it hurts too much and you are forced to fix it. The sooner you fix your glitch, the sooner you can move on to much higher levels in life.
The Next Step to Growing through your Glitch
The next step is conscious competence. Every time you get into one of these situations, no matter how uncomfortable and unnatural it may seem to you, force yourself to respond in a different way. It will hurt. For example, I really wanted to point out all the flaws in Rachel’s argument and all the reasons why she should have been grateful for having me as her Representative. I really wanted to her to understand that she was in the wrong. I wanted her to regret ever wanting to contact my Supervisor. However, being consciously competent, I forced myself to respond differently. In fact, I said nothing at all and let her feel like she was right. It hurt like hell. It felt uncomfortable. It was agonizing at times, but that’s the price to pay in order to grow through your glitch. I felt growth and I am a bigger person because of it. Because I have grown through this glitch, all of my relationships have improved!
Third Step to Growing through your Glitch
Keep on keeping on. Soon you will form a new habit and save lots of relationships in the process. The great news is that, when you improve the habit in one part of your life, it affects every other part of your life as well. In my case, not only did I become better with my customers, but I lifted all of my relationships. I am better with my wife, kids, parents, siblings, extended family, business partners, and everyone with whom I am in contact. All of this is a result of growing through the glitch. Have you grown through yours? If not, remember these action steps you can take:
Action steps:
- Gain awareness by understanding what bothers you on a regular basis. What do you brood over?
- In moments of choice, force yourself to respond differently no matter how uncomfortable it is.
- Keep on keeping on and build your new habit each time a similar situation arises.
Soon you will find that the wall you used to bang your head against is now a door that opens new possibilities beyond what you have ever imagined. That’s quite empowering. And that’s one thing in which I’m sure I’m in the right!
